There several common topics I discuss in my office at this time of year.

The holidays are upon us.  Thanksgiving will soon be here, quickly followed by “Black Friday” – the spending holiday – then several weeks of “joyful preparation” that may be more “stressful anticipation” or “anxious realization” as we await Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and many other cultural and religious celebrations.  All this topped off by the champagne-fueled resolution frenzy of the New Year.

For many, “the most joyful time of the year” has become a source of emotional upheaval, confusion, and frustration.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Here are a few ways to make it more joyful and less stressful:

Know your limits – with food, alcohol, spending, and especially with spending time with friends and family.  There are many expectations – verbalized and not – to imbibe, consume, and socialize.  It is alright to set boundaries with yourself and others to protect and enhance your mental health, and your family’s.

Set realistic expectations with yourself and others – many people still imagine their family should imitate the perfect image of a Norman Rockwell painting for the 12-72 hours they are together for the holidays.  That is not possible.  Stop it.  These expectations of a “perfect holiday” often get in the way of enjoying the imperfections of family life.  Have realistic expectations for your family and yourself.  Or, better yet, allow yourself to simply enjoy the time without the burden of expectations.

Spend more time, spend less money – research over the past 20 years continues to validate this idea: happiness comes from experiences and interactions, not material.  Yet we have been convinced that we simply must spend exorbitant amounts of money on consumer goods in the next 6 weeks.  Invest in time and experiences, not things.

Embrace the differences – you may only get to spend a few days each year with those parts of your family you were once much closer with.  Embrace how they’ve changed, just you hope they embrace all the changes you’ve gone through.

We will discuss more as we move closer to the holidays.  If you have any specific questions, I would be happy to answer here, or privately.

Take care & Happy (almost) Holidays! – Dan