Ideas on Mental Health & Meaning
Pain, Suffering, & Substance Abuse – a personal story
I don't often share personal stories about myself. As a psychotherapist, I received some pretty strict training on the appropriate use of self-disclosure as a therapeutic tool, and I've found over time that less is more when trying to help people through their own...
10 Betrayals
Infidelity, extramarital affairs, sexual promiscuity - often sensationalized in the media, these relationship destroying choices happen all too often in "real life". However, lesser indiscretions can often lead a couple to struggle significantly, and can cause untold...
Fundamental Rules for the Family
"Today, individuals are adept at making their demands on life and getting what they want, carelessly overlooking their human kinship and the bond that ties them together in needing one another and being needed." "They slide from self-confidence via...
Saying the “Right” Words
"The most important things are often the hardest to say, because words diminish them." - Stephen King But it is still important to try. "I'm sorry." "I forgive you." "I love you." "You hurt me." "I want to connect with you, but I have no idea how to." Taking...
Trust in Relationships
Successful, healthy, relationships and marriages are built on a foundation of trust. Without trust, we see relationships crumble under the weight of fear, anxiety, and contempt. Trust is fairly easy to build in the early stages of a relationship, and simple, in...
A Eulogy
As I sat and listened to people share their fond memories, as I looked at the sea of individuals seated in rows for the service and remembered the overwhelming flow of people coming to pay their respects at the visitation the night before, I couldn't help but think,...
Suffering in Good Humor
"Humor was another of the soul’s weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation." Pain, guilt, death. Frankl's "Tragic Triad". ...
Good work, Dad.
Happy belated Father's Day to all you Dads, and, of course, to all you Moms who support us! I hope you had a relaxing day with your family. Maybe you got to watch some World Cup Soccer, or enjoy a little quiet time out mowing the lawn. I've had the fortunate...
Rules for Fair Fighting
We all get into disagreements with our loved ones – spouses, significant others, partners. Most people only bring into a relationship what they learned from their family of origin and past relationships, both good and bad. It is impossible to agree on...
We Are All Just a Bunch of Addicts
I saw an news brief on teens entering “smartphone addiction” treatment centers in Malibu, CA at a cost of $50k / month… If I’m honest with myself, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some evidence of this new phenomenon in my office and in my own home. We’ve all heard of the...
Life is Suffering
"LIFE IS SUFFERING. THAT'S CLEAR. There is no more basic, irrefutable truth." Ouch, that hurts... This is the start of "Rule 7" from Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life : An Antidote for Chaos. I didn't expect him to get so dark in his "antidote". You can expect...
Overwhelming Struggles
Last week I had the privilege of spending time with some great people from all over the world as part of our graduation ceremonies. I renewed my friendship with Alain, an exuberant and gentle soul who works as a hospital chaplain in Missouri, as well as a US Army...