Where our modern world tells us to “be happy, regardless of the circumstances”, even if it means taking a pill, Viktor Frankl tells us to that life has meaning in all circumstances.  However, meaning does not guarantee happiness, and maybe happiness should not always be the end goal.  This article from Dr. Andrew Weil offers an interesting perspective on the matter of happiness in our times.  (Originally found at https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/mental-health/emotional-sea-level/)

Striving and maintaining emotional sea level: More than any other group in history, modern Americans are told to be cheerful, no matter the circumstance. In her book, Bright Sided – How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America, Barbara Ehrenreich explores this culture of “toxic optimism” in various ways, but the most persuasive account she provides is a personal one.

Ehrenreich makes a valuable point. The idea that one must be, and look, endlessly cheerful is a uniquely American, uniquely modern, uniquely destructive cultural imperative. I advise you to beware of the endless books, websites, television shows, seminars, religions, drugs (especially drugs) promising ceaseless bliss. Such a condition is, I feel, neither possible nor desirable.

A central premise of my book, Spontaneous Happiness is that it is perfectly normal to experience “the blues,” just as it is perfectly normal to experience joy and bliss. Optimizing emotional well-being means gaining greater control of the variability of moods, damping the oscillations, enjoying the rewards of the midpoint.  It also means not shutting down that dynamic variability, not getting emotionally stuck.

Let me introduce a foreign word that describes this emotional goal. Lagom is a Swedish term that does not have an exact English equivalent; it means something like “just right,” or “exactly enough.” It has been called the most Swedish of Swedish words and permeates the entire culture: architecture, politics, economics, and every aspect of daily life.

Contentment, serenity, comfort, balance, resilience, together constitute a lagom version of positive emotionality and, I think, a sane alternative to the perpetual happiness expected and demanded in our society.  It should be more than enough to sustain us and will not burn us out or condemn us to alternating cycles of bliss and despair.

No matter what it is called – emotional sea level, the balancing point, lagom – the good news is that it can be cultivated until it becomes our default emotional state, through attention to the needs of body, mind and spirit. Adopt simple strategies such as:

• eating an anti-inflammatory diet.
• committing to a daily exercise program.
• practicing stress relief techniques such as breathing exercises and meditation
• focusing your time and energy outside of yourself – in other words, putting others first.

Applied with focus and commitment, these may help you to find your own emotional sea level. I wish you success!

If you enjoyed this article, I highly recommend Dr. Weil’s work Spontaneous Happiness.

For more on the teachings Viktor Frankl and how I use them every day in helping individuals and families, take a look at The Meaning Project.