“The most important things are often the hardest to say, because words diminish them.”  – Stephen King

But it is still important to try.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

“I love you.”

“You hurt me.”

“I want to connect with you, but I have no idea how to.”

Taking responsibility for hurting your partner’s feelings is never easy, but it is necessary.  It is the responsible thing to do if you want to have a healthy relationship.

Connecting with your teen after they make a poor decision, as teens are wired to do, and after they melt down from the consequence the world doles out for poor decisions – that’s not easy either.  But it is necessary for them to grow and mature, and responsible to the relationship they need to have with you.

Consoling someone after the loss of their spouse isn’t easy.  As a culture, we are just not good in dealing with death.  But cliches and greeting-card statements like, “it’ll be OK”, “she is in a better place”, or “I understand”, only invalidate the mourners grief and belittle the grieving process.  When we don’t know what to say, simply being honest and stating, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say,” or taking it a step further and asking, “is there anything I can do to help,” will be far more helpful.

Communication, emotional communication, is difficult.  Words can diminish the emotions we are trying to express.  But the more we try to express them, the better we get at it, and the more connected we become.  Challenge yourself to express those difficult emotions – to accept the expressions of those around you without judgment, but with an honest attempt to understand.

Past negative sentiment – hurt, frustration, resentment, etc. – often leads to misperception, misunderstanding, and the compounding of past negative emotions.

But you can free yourself from this past “emotional baggage” by expressing yourself honestly, and listening without judgment.

It’s not easy – words can diminish emotion, or worse cause misunderstanding – but it is necessary, it is responsible for healthy, meaningful relationships.

Like what you’re reading?  Are you finding it helpful?

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