“Grace” is a word I use a lot in my office.  I can’t take credit for it.  The idea was shared with me long ago by a good friend – another therapist.  Over the years, I’ve added a bit to what he told me about it – as you might guess, the word has quite a bit of meaning:

Grace is the opportunity to forgive and truly move on when hurt or offended.

It is the ability to recognize the other person – perhaps someone close to you – didn’t mean it as intensely as maybe you felt it.

Grace is the ability to recognize those we care about the most – our children, our partners, our friends, may not be able to live up to our expectations.  They may not even care to.  And that our expectations are ours, and may not be their’s.  That’s where healthy communication can certainly help.

Grace is the choice not to react immediately to what we perceive is a harsh word, written or spoken.  It is pausing to think before reacting.  It is stopping before your fingers fly across the keyboard or smartphone and you hit “send”.

Again, it is recognizing that the harshness of those words may be more perception than intention, and asking for clarity is the key to a healthy relationship.

Grace is recognizing we are all different – and different isn’t “good or bad”, it is just different.  This is a key to working with the MBTI and individual personalities.  We all have our strengths, we all have our blind spots and areas for improvement.  If you find a “perfect” person near you, let me know – we can share the book rights and make millions…

Grace is recognizing, respecting, and maybe even appreciating our differences.  As the concepts of Logotherapy tell us – grace is an opportunity to transcend the self, and truly love another in all their uniqueness.

As Frankl writes in Man’s Search for Meaning:

“This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude.”

My challenge to you this week is this – live with grace.