I’ve been reading a book recently called Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen, and the title alone contains some pretty good psychological advice.

We tend to give our thoughts tremendous authority.

What if something goes wrong?

What if they don’t like me?

I should have handled that differently.

I’m never going to figure this out.

Something must be wrong.

A thought enters our mind, and almost immediately we begin engaging with it. We analyze it, argue with it, replay it, defend against it, and sometimes build an entire story around it.

But here’s something I’ve reminded clients of for years:

Just because you think something doesn’t make it true.

And perhaps even more importantly, not every thought deserves your attention.

Our minds generate thoughts constantly. Some are useful. Some alert us to problems that genuinely require our attention. Some help us plan, create, reflect, and make better decisions.

Others are simply mental noise.

The trouble begins when we treat every thought as something that needs to be solved.

Nguyen makes an important distinction between having thoughts and becoming consumed by our thinking. That distinction matters because much of what we call overthinking isn’t actually problem-solving. It’s simply repeatedly thinking about the same thing while convincing ourselves we’re accomplishing something.

As a psychologist, I see this frequently with anxiety and rumination.

There is a difference between asking, “What can I do about this?” and asking the same unanswerable question for the 47th time.

One moves us toward action.

The other keeps us stuck.

Viktor Frankl approached this from another direction through a Logotherapy technique called dereflexion. Sometimes the answer to excessive thinking isn’t more thinking. It’s redirecting our attention away from ourselves and toward something meaningful outside of ourselves.

The conversation in front of us.

The work that needs doing.

The person who needs us.

The walk outside.

The music playing.

The life actually happening while we’re busy thinking about life.

That doesn’t mean ignoring genuine problems or pretending painful thoughts don’t exist. Sometimes our thoughts are pointing toward something important that deserves reflection, professional help, or action.

But we don’t have to follow every thought wherever it wants to take us.

We can notice it and ask:

Is this thought true?

Is it useful?

Is there something I can actually do about it?

And perhaps most importantly:

Does this deserve any more of my attention?

If the answer is no, we can gently turn our attention back toward something that does.

That’s not denial.

It’s discernment.

Your attention is one of the most valuable resources you possess. Where you place it, day after day, eventually shapes the life you experience.

So this week, pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.

You may discover that some of the thoughts taking up the most space in your mind don’t deserve nearly as much of it as you’ve been giving them.

Here’s wishing you a meaningful—and perhaps slightly quieter—week.

Until next Monday,

Dr. Dan