Last week, I shared the story of a cycling accident that left me bruised, battered, and far more injured than I initially realized. If you’d like to read the full story (including the less-than-glamorous details), you can find it on my Substack.  https://drdanielafranz.substack.com/p/life-comes-at-you-fast-wear-a-helmet?r=udirq

A week later, I’m still recovering.

The emergency room physician was right when he looked at me and said, “The first two weeks are going to be rough.”

They have been.

Physically, I haven’t been able to do many of the things I take for granted. Mentally, I’ve struggled with the frustration of wanting my body to heal faster than it will. Emotionally and spiritually, I’ve wrestled with feeling broken, discouraged, and, at times, surprisingly alone.

Thankfully, I have tools.

As a student of Logotherapy, I believe suffering can be transformed into growth when we choose our attitude and remain open to the meaning that difficult experiences may reveal. That doesn’t mean suffering is enjoyable or that we should pretend everything is okay. It means that even painful seasons can teach us something if we’re willing to listen.

I’ve also been blessed by extraordinary friends and family. They’ve brought meals, helped around the house, checked in, prayed for me, and patiently listened as I processed what has been a difficult week.

Still, by last Thursday, I hit a wall.

I don’t know if it was exhaustion from trying to recover too quickly, the accumulated frustration of limited mobility, or simply the emotional weight of the entire experience. Whatever the reason, I found myself in a much darker place than I expected.

Ironically, that evening I was scheduled to facilitate one of our Men’s Peer Group Experiences (MPGx).

I thought I was showing up to help other men.

Instead, they helped me.

As we made our way through our weekly check-in, something in me finally gave way. The emotions I had been trying to keep neatly contained spilled out. The “I’ve got this” attitude I’d been carrying all week finally cracked.

The group decided to pause and use my situation as the evening’s Exploration.

Then came a simple question:

“What do you need?”

Followed by another:

“How can we help?”

Those questions sound simple, but in the hands of men who are committed to listening without judgment and challenging one another with compassion, they became powerful.

They helped me uncover something I hadn’t fully admitted to myself. My greatest struggle wasn’t just physical pain. It was the loss of independence, the frustration of needing help, and the fear that I had somehow become a burden to the people I love.

Naming those feelings didn’t magically heal my injuries.

But it did begin to heal something inside me.

People sometimes ask me why I invest so much time in men’s groups.

Last Thursday reminded me.

No, the group didn’t save my life. I wasn’t in that kind of crisis.

But it did save my day.

It reminded me that vulnerability isn’t weakness. It reminded me that even those of us who spend our lives helping others need a place where we can be honest about our own struggles. And it reminded me that healing is rarely something we do alone.

One of the greatest misconceptions about strength is that strong people don’t need help.

The truth is just the opposite.

Strong people know when it’s time to ask for it.

If you’ve ever wondered what happens in a Men’s Peer Group Experience, I’d love to invite you to join us. Our next MPGx meeting is Tuesday, July 21, at 6:00 p.m. Eastern. There’s a good chance I’ll be leading it—hopefully with a little less road rash.

Whether you’re carrying a burden no one else sees or simply looking for a place to grow alongside other men, we’d be honored to have you.

Because sometimes the most meaningful step forward begins with four simple words:

“I need some help.”

— Dr. Da:

Come join us.  Our next MPGx meeting is Tuesday, July 21st, at 6pm EST.  Good chance I will be leading it.  Hope to see you there: https://menspeergroups.com/