This could also be called “what to say when you don’t know what to say”.

Often, I find it is the most to know what to say when the stakes are highest, the most meaningful.  It’s often hard to know what to say to encourage or console someone who is struggling, so we turn to cliches.  Unfortunately, these cliches may not always be as helpful as we want – they’ve even been given a term, “toxic positivity” – the idea that, as a culture, we try to “smile away” difficulties rather than embrace them and struggle through to find meaning.

Next time you feel like throwing out a cliche, try one of these validating statements:

Chart created by Whitney Hawkins Goodman, LMFT, owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center